Tale of a Lunchroom Outcast
A reflection on my “sugar-deprived” childhood
As a child growing up in the Midwest, I told myself that if I ever had kids, I would never raise them the way my mom raised my siblings and me.
Was she cruel? No.
Abusive? No.
What sinister thing could my mom have possibly done for me to think this way?
She denied me sugary foods for breakfast and lunch.
In elementary school, my mom taught me how to make my own lunch. Lunch items I could choose from were packets of Carl Budding Jr. lunch meats, Kraft singles, and whole wheat bread to make a sandwich, vegetables and fruits, crackers, and, for a “treat,” Fig Newtons.
Sounds like a decent lunch, right?
Not at my school.
Lunchtime gave me such anxiety on the days I brought my lunch. Everyone pulled out their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Cheetos or potato chips, Sunny D and sugar-fueled juices, and the literal icing on the cake, Little Debbie Snacks. Oatmeal Crème pies, Ho-Hos, Nutty Bars…all the delicious snack cakes I’d never seen in my pantry.
When the trading began, I’d silently pray this was the day someone would tire of their snack cake and decide fruit or a Fig Newton sounded way better. And, every time, no one wanted my sad little apple or “imitation cookie.”
I couldn’t blame — or even hate — them. So I ate my turkey and cheese sandwich and carrot sticks quietly while a jealous fire burned deep inside me as I watched my peers greedily devour their Devil Cakes.
Sadly, it wasn’t just lunches where I felt the sting of being denied sugar. Breakfast was another story.
At most of my friends’ homes, you could open their pantries to brightly colored boxes of the sweetest, most sugary cereals touted proudly by cartoon mascots.
Not at my house.
My mom had a rule that we could only buy cereals where sugar wasn’t one of the first five ingredients. Raisin Bran, Cheerios, Rice Krispies, Shredded Wheat — that’s pretty much what we could have. On occasion, we could pick out a sugar-loaded cereal — but we could only eat it for dessert.
Now, this wasn’t so awful when it was just my siblings and me having breakfast. But when a friend spent the night, it made for an awkward situation in the morning. I’d open the pantry, she’d go to grab the box of sugary cereal, and I had to tell her that wasn’t for breakfast. My confused friend would look at me like I had spoken complete gibberish. I’d explain how we could only have that for dessert and then hastily offer up a nice bowl of Cheerios.
I was able to have Pop-Tarts for breakfast, but you probably already guessed that I was limited to the kind without the frosted coating on them. Yup, we got the plain Pop-Tarts and usually had to eat them along with a piece of fruit.
Again, this was another huge disappointment to my friends who didn’t even know Pop-Tarts came without frosting.
Fast forward decades later to when I had my first child, and he grew to the age where he could start having cereal.
Did I load up our cabinets with Fruit Loops, Captain Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and frosted Pop-Tarts and let him have them for breakfast?
Did I purchase every kind of Little Debbie snack known to man?
No, I didn’t. He didn’t even know anything besides Cheerios existed until he was much older, and it took a while before I’d even let anything else in the house.
When it came to lunches, it was always a wholesome sandwich, a vegetable, a fruit, and crackers. Sometimes, I’d get wild and let him have fruit snacks. He had no idea Little Debbie snacks existed, as they had never entered our house.
Yes, I became my mom.
I look at how much sugar is in something and won’t hesitate to nix it if it’s too much. Not that my kids don’t get a cereal where sugar is one of the top five ingredients or can’t have any candy, cookies, or treats. I’m no health nut. More of an “everything in moderation” person.
But I have grown to realize since my childhood days — and then my over-indulgence as a young adult who could buy whatever she wanted and eat it any time of day (cake for breakfast, anyone?) — that processed, sugar-filled foods aren’t really something you should have for breakfast and lunch every day. Which it seemed like many of my schoolmates were doing by the looks of their lunches and the clear disgust on their faces at my cereal options.
So no, my mom wasn’t a mean witch obsessed with depriving me of deliciousness for breakfast and lunch. She just cared about my health, which I’ve come to appreciate as I raise my boys and make similar decisions on what foods to bring into the house.
That, and she probably didn’t want to deal with three kids on a sugar high at eight o’clock in the morning.
I chose my sleepovers based on which friends had the best snack cupboard and sugary cereals and like you, I’m totally my mom today.